Thursday, December 14, 2006

my favourite little elf

as the holidays approach many of us are madly rushing around shopping for those last presents, baking and cooking our brains out, running back and forth to malls and being surrounded by swarms of people — some of them ..... mmmm .... not so nice at this time of the year. you'd think they'd be in better spirits, wouldn't you? lol.

one of my favourite things to do at this time of the year is to relisten to the holiday story of my favourite little evil elf, "crumpet". (keep reading!).


say who?? as crumpet, the name given to this ficticious real life character, tells what it is like to work as a department store elf, you realize this has to be one of the funniest and wittiest parodies of the christmas season you will ever listen to. it is the invention of author david sedaris [interview] and amusingly recounts little crumpet's job as a macy's store elf. it is called the santaland diaries.

follow this link to npr and click on the icon for the 1992 santaland diaries broadcast. this is an abridged short version of 8 minutes. it will give you a taste for sedaris' humour. as one article said, "do not listen to this when you drive, you may have an accident". [there is also some jewish stuff on the page, too].

this link, i believe, gives you the whole santaland diaries broadcast. if you liked the first snippet, you shall surely love the following from this american life, broadcast by a chicago public radio station.

sit back and laugh. it really is that funny.

11 comments:

TopChamp said...

following your instructions right now: sniggering.

beenzzz said...

You kow as funny as it is.....it's true!!!!!!!!!! Most wonderful time of the year?? NOT!

burekaboy — said...

topchamp - hope you were amused! :))

beenzzz - lol, you know it. how many more days left?? our holiday starts tomorrow afternoon before sundown!! i'm so not ready.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing the elf, burekaboy - very funny and poignant, too. Just right for the season.

Blogger hasn't been letting me comment here lately, so I'm trying the "anonymous" method. Just wanted to be sure to say...

Happy Hanukkah!

Ostara

burekaboy — said...

hey ostara - i had a feeling you would enjoy it. sedaris' humour is indeed poignant and sharp in the right way, IMO.

blogger has me pulling my hair out, too. don't feel alone. i have beening having issues for some time now. i don't know what is going on. i am glad you were able to post this way.

thank you for your holiday wishes. ;}

aja said...

Bah humbug...
I, believe it or not, was an adoption assistant for cabbage patch kids at the Eatons flagship store in Toronto the christmas they first came out... I had to help kids and, more importantly, their parents, choose the perfect doll, and then administer the cabbage patch adoption oath, at christmas, when people were fighting over the dolls and going seriously ugly, rather like dave sedaris's description of being an elf... boy do i ever empathise... btw, the most famous adoptive parent I administered the oath to was margaret atwood along with her daughter. doesn't fit her image, does it?

what a person does when they have to pay the rent...

burekaboy — said...

aja - 2nd try, blogger just snuffed out my most brilliant reply to you! arrrgh.

i'd never have imagined you as high commissioneress of doling out adoption certificates of what i considered THE SCARIEST looking dolls on earth. did you have a costume? was this at the eatons centre??

as for m.a. wow. she's a major ice queen in my books.

aja said...

Would you believe I had to wear a Dr's lab coat and stethescope? Talk about OTT. Yep, it was at the Eaton's Center (not long after it opened up) And the dolls were disgustingly twee... plastic heads and soft bods with their name tattooed on their backsides - shades of manipulations by genetic mutants, shudder shudder. Yes, MA is a bit of an icequeen - but I guess she is (or was) human after all and had to jump on the bandwagon like everybody else, or more like be the first on her block...

Oh well, that phase of hourly humiliation is over... now I just grovel for my salary.

The thing us elves have to do to get by...

burekaboy — said...

aja - ROTFL. priceless, man. labcoat & stethoscope?? awwww, musta been soooo cute. hope the landlord appreciated it. i think we all have some embarrassing jobs hidden in the closet. at least, yours was white-collared :P. think of all the little people you made happy! such a mentsch.

Princess Jibi said...

I dont know.. My husband was sayint his is the only time he see people behave human.. and even though we dont celebrate christmas or hannukah, well I never knew much about hannukah.. still dont... we like the holidays...

I like reading stories with elfs... I dont know how its related to the holidays though is it?

burekaboy — said...

pj - wouldn't it be nice if people would behave themselves the rest of the year? lol.

the elf stories are fun. it comes from the idea of santa's helpers being "elves" or little people who help him build/make toys for children. it's just a story .... shhh, don't tell the little kids that though!! LOL.