Tuesday, August 21, 2007

50,000 chickpeas & a long night

3:30 a.m. — CRASH!

burekaboy, after having just fallen into deep REM sleep, following 3 annoying hours of tossing and turning, reflexively springs up in bed, completely bewildered {why did he drink that can of coke at 9 pm?? well, at least it tasted great}.

confused, he makes his way to one of the two places he knows could be the source of the crash, and expects the worst since the mischevious four-legged food processor was nowhere in sight.

squinting, in anticipation of the extreme pain which would be caused by the turning on of the bright light of the kitchen after being in complete darkness, he decides on plan B .... turn on light over the stove — less bright, less pain.

ambling to the stove in pitch blackness, he stops cold. "why are my feet wet?" he quickly asks himself. he realizes he has stepped into in a pool of water. as this realization occurs in the dark, he feels a sand papery tongue licking his ankles and hears a familiar purring. burekaboy knows he should just stop now and go back to bed; of course, he doesn't and his first thought is: "cat, you are SO dead!"

another step towards the stove to turn on the light results in the foreshadowing of the horror to come ..... as his finger extends to illuminate the situation, burekaboy thinks again: "what did i just step on?"

with a flip of the switch, he finds a soaking wet cat, 8 cups of cold water and 50,000 (ok, i exaggerate here but it was A LOT) *%#*&!@ chickpeas (& fennel seeds) all over the kitchen floor. it's now 3:40 am. i mean, what does one say at this point except: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! STUPID CAT!!

alas, it's hard to be totally angry at a drenched cat with fennels seeds* in his fur happily licking up the water from soaking chickpeas, two hours before dawn. this didn't help burekaboy from wanting to rip his fur out at that very moment — let's face it, who wants to mop up chickpeas at that hour? burekaboy did contemplate going back to bed and then thought it would smell like hell in the morning (not that it already didn't) and waking up to a mess like that would be even worse.

(what's with the fennel seeds & chickpeas, you ask? chickpeas for cooking, fennel seeds to make them more easily digested).

after 15 minutes of chickpea hunting [under the stove, behind the refrigerator, under the cabinets], cursing and mopping up rank smelling water and fennel seeds, burekaboy notices it's now 4 am. the whole time, the cat is sitting in the corner, staring with that "what are you doing?" look on its face, acting as if he had nothing to do with the whole fiasco. to add insult to injury, he goes over to his food bowl and howls for a "midnight snack". chutzpah.

why didn't burekaboy buy a dog?

burekaboy, in bed again, rationalizes the situation by saying to himself that the silver lining is that at least the bowl didn't smash and that he was stupid for leaving the chickpeas within cat's reach. cat is an oddball: he especially loves chickpeas which are soaking and fresh tofu.

zzzzzz......

4:15 a.m. BANG! (mop falls over) — the fun begins again.....

you're lucky you're so cute, my little brown devil.

(this is what watches over me as i work on the computer)

12 comments:

Pink Granite said...

Hi -
I know the saying wasn't coined for the four legged members of our families, but...
Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em!!!
Glad you are both alive and well!
;o)
- Lee

Nafeesah said...

Oh Dear..I really do feel for poor burekaboy..actually I feel it 10 times worse as I have 10 of these furry beautiful monsters prowling my house and invading and shattering my privacy at all times.

But I can never stay angry with them for long..funny..it seems to be their very arrogance which makes my heart soften towards them again lol...

What's the brown devils name by the way? My cat sitting by me here sure does feel like a scuffle with him judging by the growling (he thinks he's a dog..poor darling haha)

Emily DeVoto, Ph.D., said...

Hahaha... very funny story, BB... sorry about the mess, and the chickpeas, really I am sorry! ;-)

BrightStar said...

Adorable cat!

Roo said...

Brilliant, however, as a dog owner, my second reaction would be to think - now then, let's see, recipe - what do I have, fennel seeds, chickpeas and cat... it's supposed to taste line chicken.... hmmm

Ok so that might be a tad over the top, but it's a good job your electrics are in good order too! ;o)

shelly said...

LOL! What a story! My cat loves garbanzo beans too. And corn in a can. Just the sound of the can opener sends her bounding up to the kitchen counter in purring anticipation of tuna, chickpeas, or corn. Weird kitty indeed!

Rosa's Yummy Yums said...

Poor Burekaboy!

Ha, ha, your well-written post made me laugh ;-P!!!! That's what happens when you choose the nosiest little devil on earth as companion! "Four-legged food processor", a very good term...

You have one kitty at home, imagine having two like me! Sometimes, I could also just strangle them, turn them into kebabs or stuff them on the spot!

Your brown devil looks ever so beautiful and cute!

burekaboy — said...

PG - you're right about that ;) CAN'T live without 'em (at least for me, i can't). i think the sun was coming out by the time i finally got to sleep that night! of course, he slept all day.

nafeesah - ACK!! 10 cats!!?? that's a lot of fur!! wow, i think i'd go crazy with that many cats. i imagine they're not ALL indoor cats, are they? they are hard to stay angry at for long. but then again, after they've just knocked down something or sat on your newspaper JUST as you were going to read it.....

as for the brown devil's real name, he has a long, quite {insert yawn here} pompous asian type one, from the breeder. i never use it; just call him many different things -- some of them not too nice when he's driving me mental, LOL. right now, he's being called 'chew-shoe' because he decides that eating leather shoes is amazing fun and shoes look like something which need to be attacked and killed. i have to put my shoes away, locked up now! he's a little strange :o

emily - yeah, ha ha. especially at 3:30 in the morning, very ha ha!! grrr. he almost saw his last chickpea that night. i actually was quite amused later on thinking about picking up chickpeas in the middle of the night like a crazy person. i'm sure i'll find dried up ones, under the appliances, come pesach.

hi brightstar - welcome, and thanks for your comment :) yeah, he is kind of adorable; guess i'll have to keep him even with all the naughtiness :))

roo - LOL, i think i did point to the oven, saying "you see that oven??" nawwww, not enough meat on him. hehe.

hey shelly - i don't know what it is about chickpeas but there must be something in them that makes (certain) cats crazy. i can't open a can of them and leave them unattended or he will literally jump on the counter and knock it over. i must have picked/mopped up 50,000 of them just over the several months! haven't tried corn on him yet .... and i thought cats were strict carnivores! lol, that can opener must cause some serious (pavlovian) drooling!!

rosa - glad you like the story! i was actually afraid the ceramic bowl had smashed on the floor or, worse, hit him as it went over. he was just wet and smelly -- had to wash him up later and take out the fennel seeds.

trust me, i know what you mean about more than one cat! you certainly have your share of excitement with those two rascals. kebabs sound good to me :))

the brown devil's picture came out pretty good, i have to say, mostly because of the white background. he is often hard to photograph, i find. i'll give him your compliment -- i'm sure he'll send back some very rough licks, bad breath included!

Goldie said...

Hahaha he DOES look like my cat Jackson (yes Jax is a Burmese too)that story was too funny. Ours isn't quite so naughty but loves jumping on the bench and steals pieces of celery etc that I'm chopping up.

burekaboy — said...

hi goldie - for a moment, i thought he had escaped to australia and into your pantry looking for something good to eat! LOL. somehow, i wouldn't put it past him either ;) i'll have to forgive mine for being so rambunctious & mischievous -- he's still very young and everything is a temptation. he keeps me very busy.

Princess Jibi said...

lol now I remember why my dad never let me got a pet... I dont even clean up my own messes... and a cats mess at 3 in the morning. I so envy the patience of a pet lover...

burekaboy — said...

PJ - yes, they can be little pests at times but fun ones -- thank goodness for him, i have lots of patience!! he just ripped up something of mine yesterday; i was NOT happy :[